CCMM Blog

 

Survive or Thrive
Posted by Aaron Leighton :: September 19, 2010

 

There seem to be two types of paths Christian men find themselves walking, and it hit me recently that each of these paths has a name: survive and thrive. If they were being honest, most guys would admit they’re walking down the first path. They’ve been saved. Go to church most Sundays. Maybe look forward to Heaven, but just as likely not. This is the default path. The safe path. But certainly not the path our dreams tell us we were made to walk. Factors such as shame, unforgiveness, apathy, busyness, or simply lack of vision keep them on this path to simply survive. It’s a coast to the finish with little fanfare, little impact, little risk. And it’s killing men’s hearts. The Enemy will do his best to keep us here because he fears the other path: thrive.

 

Thrive is the rarified path of the Christian man’s walk. Most don’t dare tread here, but it is the path that unleashes a man into his true design. Unlike the path of survival, to thrive is risky. We’re familiar with the concept of the comfort zone. To thrive is to live outside the comfort zone. And it’s worth it. When we thrive, we grow in confidence, integrity, and character as God the Father speaks affirmation into our hearts and brings us back to wholeness.

 

So as followers of Christ, how do we get from surviving to thriving? From personal experience, a vital component to thriving is a deep fellowship with other brothers. I walked the survive path for the first 20 years of my Christian walk. The transition into my own thrive path came only when I was willing to release my burdens into a trusted group of men.

 

As I read Pastor Michael Slater’s book, “The Stretcher,” I am reminded that even Christ needed friends. We see Him in the Garden of Gethsemane with a deep desire for their companionship during His darkest hours. Who are we to think we can walk alone when even Christ needed friends?

 

Mike Slater will be taking us into a challenging place at Awaken the Giant II as he teaches us about the concept of stretcher bearing. There are times when we need to tend to another’s stretcher. And there are times when we need to be carried. Who are the stretcher bearers in your life?

 

 

Benchmarks
Posted by Aaron Leighton :: September 15, 2010

 

I was mountain biking with some good friends recently near Morro Bay. The weather was perfect with just enough crisp air at the start of the ride to encourage a harder pace. We usually stop mid-ride to relax and pray, and this time was no different. We settled into a comfortable huddle on top of Black Mountain, which is comprised of mostly exposed boulders. As a father and son hiked past our group, we overheard the boy searching for one of the permanent brass benchmarks that reside on top of this hill.

 

Searching for benchmarks. We need the solidity of benchmarks in our lives, don’t we? Those people you know will be there when the bad news blindsides you. When your plans are failing and you’ve exhausted all your own ideas. Or when just need some clear, cutting wisdom. If you’re blessed, you may have a handful of people that fall into the rare category of a benchmark.

 

A benchmark in my life is Gary Holcomb. I first heard about and then met Gary during my time in the Pure Desire program. The most significant events often occur without us even being aware of their significance. And so it was with my first meeting with Gary, and I thank God He allowed our paths to intersect. Gary has been many things to me, personally. He’s been an example of how to live in total surrender to Christ, how to face my toughest addictions, how to live in the grace that God has freely given me, and how to be a friend.

 

We are privileged to have Gary Holcomb not only as Vice President of Central Coast Men’s Ministry, but also as a speaker at Awaken the Giant for the second year in a row. As master of ceremonies, Gary will be the “grand weaver” of ATG2, tying the event together and sharing from his heart. If you heard him speak last year, you know what to expect. On October 9th we will be impacted.

 

 

Spot Remover
Posted by Aaron Leighton :: September 6, 2010

 

I’d guess most of you can’t recall exactly when the phrase “a leopard can’t change its spots” leeched its way into your vernacular, but it’s time you question the truth you may have assigned to it. My pastor recently commented on this phrase during a sermon, the bottom line being if the church actually believes this, we might as well lock the doors and stop wasting everyone’s time. But you need to know this is not the truth.

 

In fact, the core of the Bible speaks to the opposite. We can be free of our spots. The apostle Paul said in Romans 12:2: “Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind…” Transformed. From your spots. And in this case, Paul is talking about a process when he says “renewing.”

 

Do you have “spots” you’ve been led to believe can never be changed or reconciled? This is a lie that Hell perpetuates to keep you in bondage. Take heart, change will happen if you allow Christ to begin His healing work in your life.

 

At one time, one of my nastiest spots I thought might never go away was an addiction to pornography. But God is faithful and through a program called Pure Desire, I regained my footing. As Paul mentioned, this recovery to healthy ground is a process. God continues to refine my thought life and sexual addiction is no longer a stronghold in my life. It does not haunt me and does not define me. This leopard has changed his spots.

 

I am thrilled to have Dr. Ted Roberts, author of Pure Desire and head of Pure Desire Ministries International, speaking at ATG2 this year. Ted is a superstar in the recovery world. I know he will rock your mind and heart, whatever spots you may have.

 

 

From Here to There
Posted by Aaron Leighton :: August 27, 2010

 

Even with the excitement of the upcoming ATG2 event rising, I still carry a burden that has become especially poignant during the planning of the first and second Awaken the Giant conferences. What I continue to find is the struggle for vitality in so many men’s ministries across our Central Coast (and from what I’ve since learned, across the country). I know I am not alone in this realization as I speak with others involved in this important ministry. The soul of men’s ministry cannot be found among breakfasts, barbecues, and ball games.

 

Please don’t misunderstand: Activities like these are an important part of what a healthy men’s ministry should offer. But they cannot become the sole remnant of what men need to be doing outside of Sunday service. Even now, my church–which I love dearly–is going through some challenging transition times with our men’s ministry. But I don’t write to discourage but to challenge. We, as individual men and as ministires, simply need to be honest with where we are now, where we need to be, and then be deliberate in prayer and planning about the transition.

 

I believe this is where Awaken the Giant can serve as an important men’s ministry tool, challenging the men of the Central Coast to become awake, aware, and ready to grow deeper. And the event provides the opportunity for men’s small-group development back at the church level. We have developed an easy-to-use tool called “Flight Plans” which, with the help of local churches and men’s ministries, will allow each man attending to get connected into his own small group. We will have detailed information on the Flight Plans project soon on our Web site. In the meantime, if you have any questions, please contact us for more information.

 

Men, we can be a giant for God. It is in this amazing place called the Central Coast we have the privilege of living. Let’s continue to complete this picture of “amazing” and rise up as men of God. Fully awake. Fully alive.

 

Hope to see you at ATG2!

 

 

From Here to There
Posted by Lance Tullis :: June 7, 2010

 

“The battle in your life is against your joy.” –John Eldredge, Walking with God.

 

What could go wrong? The weather was right. Everyone was in a good mood. It wasn’t going to be too expensive. Camping was on!!! Just me and the kids, having some memory making time. Well, the memories came, but whether or not they were good, I don’t know.

 

My daughter got sick. We arrived a little later than expected, and the weather turned incredibly hot. All manageable until the next morning. “Ants!!!” My daughter screamed. Black ants, thousands of them were crawling in our camper. These were big, black, man-eaters.  They were on her pillow, on the ceiling, in the cupboards, I mean everywhere. All I could do was say to myself “Stay cool. This is a sabotage attempt. Don’t blow it over ants.” The kids scattered. No one wanted to be near the ants. The ants were everywhere in our campsite: the chairs, table, outside the camper, rocks, bbq, etc. I was about to pack up and go home, when a still small voice said, “Don’t let the enemy rob you of your joy that was meant for this weekend.”

 

I got my composure, walked down to the manager’s office and asked for a new campsite. She said no problem. I checked out the entire campground. It turned out that we were camping right in the middle of the biggest ant colony in all of California. It gets better, before I could move the camper, a baby mouse was squeaking on the ground under the back of the camper. (Baby mice come from nests).

 

This was a nice diversion for my middle daughter. She caught it, and put in a cup. At one point she tried to get some ground squirrels to adopt it. There’s more to the story, but I’ll share it later in another blog. (Again, baby mice come from nests).

 

I could have blown a fuse over the ants. It was definitely a trying moment, but I made a choice to know joy in the midst of a trial. I had prayed all weekend about knowing God’s true joy and to be the best father I could be that weekend. I think my patience dropped a couple of times, but the desire to know God’s joy moved me away from the usual grumpiness that a little hot weather, tired kids, and some dirt can bring on, not to mention the ants.

 

I read from Eldredge’s Walking with God about this very issue. Joy is the one thing that our enemy goes after, but it’s done in such a way that we stay distracted from what is really going on. He keeps us away from joy by our circumstances, addiction, shame, guilt, failure, and our own expectations. Joy is the one thing that will get us through the toughest of trials. Ask Jesus to help you know the fullness of his joy (John 16:24). Don’t let the enemy rob you of God’s blessing upon your life. Fight for your strength in being in joyous man. It will greatly benefit the world around you. And for the record, it’s a good idea to take ant spray when camping.

 

 

John Eldredge on Fear
Posted by Lance Tullis :: May 11, 2010

 

I describe John Eldredge as a pioneer in men’s-ministry. He has helped move many a man from a passive role in life to being a man fully alive. This is what he writes on fear:

 

“Because we bear the image of God in our strength, because we are a ’stem of that victorious stock,’ there’s one thing we all know: We are made to come through. And yet we wonder, Can I? Will I? When the going gets rough, when it really matters, can I really pull it off? That is why every man shares the same core fear of being exposed, being “found out,” that something will happen and he’ll be revealed to be an impostor, and not really a man. Are you aware of that fear? Where would you hate to be called upon to come through, because you don’t know whether or not you can come through?” (Wild at Heart Field Manual. pg 62)

 

Those questions are at the core of Awaken the Giant. As men, we must be willing to “come through”, no matter how fearful it may be. I can assure on the other side of the fear is not what we imagine. It is glorious victory, but few men ever experience it because of fear. So, I leave you with Eldredge one more time, “”Where would you hate to be called upon to come through?”

 

Let there be no rest until the fight is over.

 

 

As Seasons Change
Posted by Lance Tullis :: April 21, 2010

 

Life is moving like a storm toward summer. It’s still very much like winter in the mountains, but change is coming. I just got back from a great mountain bike ride in the hills above the San Joaquin River. Had some good solo-time with God. All I could think about was how life changes. One minute we’re pushing toward our dreams in life: marriage, business, personal goals, or fatherhood. The next minute those dreams can get shattered.

 

I’ve learned to use the opportunity of a lost dream to follow a new one. The Christian life isn’t about getting stuck in past regrets and failures. Sure we learn what we can from them, but there comes a time to move forward.

 

Maybe that time has come for some of you guys. It might mean letting go of a business, relationship, or pursuit of something. It’s OK to let go sometimes. When our focus is on the past, we can’t see the opportunities that are right before us today.

 

Let God into that past failure or regret, heal you from it, and prepare you for His best. We’re moving into Spring now. Look around. The hills are green. Lakes are filling up, and new life all around us. Some of us have had hard winters in life, but I assure good things are to come.

 

As the seasons change, may God open that masculine heart of yours to become a man alive to His intent for your life. Heaven knows that now is a time for masculine strength like never before. Remember, you’re a man, and as the great Zig Ziggler says, “Falure is an event, not a person.”

 

Keep up the fight men.

 

 

 

"Even in literature and art, no man who bothers about originality will ever be original: whereas if you simply try to tell the truth (without caring twopence how often it has been told before) you will, nine times out of ten, become original without ever having noticed it." 

C.S. Lewis